Confidence

Confidence
A funny thing. Can be brought on or tore down in the blink of an eye.
I always felt confidence came easy for me. I wasn't a shy person. I was okay with my body and who I was.
But then I became an adult. I gained weight. I became self conscious. I quit taking full body pics. I used filters. I hid who I was becoming behind baggy shirts and leggings.
My appearance wasn't the only thing to change. My confidence did. My attitude did. My thoughts did. My feelings did. Who I was began to change. I was sad. I was hurt. I was fat. And I was drowning in life overall.
All because of confidence that I lacked.
People began to comment on my weight. The way I wore my clothes. How I acted and so much more. And it began to break me. Every comment that was made would stick with me. Stick on me. I started to wear their words and carry the burden those words held. I became depressed. Upset. I began to distance myself from friends and activities I attended. I became angry. I started fights.
All because my confidence dropped.
I lost who I was.
But despite the dark clouds
Somehow
God still saw me
He saw my worth
He saw my pain
And He still reached out for me
He b egan to open my eyes. These people weren't the evil ones. I know who my Enemy is. And he has no place in my life. I am a child of God!
So I began to pray for the people that said stuff. I wanted to push through. But somehow every step forward I was shoved back on my butt many steps behind. I wanted to give up. Give it all up. I wanted to quit. Never go back to church. Quit my job. Not talk to people. I wanted to be alone. Even when it came to Mac. I began to distance myself from him. The one who lifted me up and made me smile. The one who told me I was beautiful and that he loved me. Even the positive I began to distance myself. And our wedding was quickly approaching and I just wasn't feeling it. How can I feel happy on our wedding day if I didn't feel beautiful?
Then this past Sunday someone was telling a story and the words "give her to her father" came out. And tears flooded my eyes. Give her to her Father.
And then I knew. I knew.
Confidence.
It's a funny thing. But it's not complicated. Confidence comes from us knowing who we are. Whose we are.

I am a child of God. (John 1:12)


I am the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13)

I am the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14)


I am commissioned to make disciples. (Matthew 28:19,20)


I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ’s life. (John 15:1,5)
I am clean. (John 15:3)
I am Christ’s friend. (John 15:15)
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit. (John 15:16)

I am a slave of righteousness. (Romans 6:18)
I am free from sin and enslaved to God. (Romans 6:22)
I am free forever from condemnation. (Romans 8:1)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father. (Romans 8:14, 15 Galatians 3:26; 4:6)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17)
I am more than a conqueror through Christ, who loves me. (Romans 8:37)
I am a temple...a dwelling place...of God. His Spirit and His life dwell in me. (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him. (1 Corinthians 6:17)
 I am bought with a price; I am not my own; I belong to God. (1 Corinthians 6:19,20; 7:23)
I am called. (1 Corinthians 7:17)
I am a member of Christ’s Body. (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:30)
I am victorious through Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:57)
I am led by God in triumphal procession. (2 Corinthians 2:14)
I am to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. (2 Corinthians 2:15)
I am being changed into the likeness of Christ. (2 Corinthians 3:18 
I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:18,19)
I am given strength in exchange for weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:10)
I am a son of God and one in Christ. (Galatians 3:26, 28)
I am Abraham’s seed...an heir of the promise. (Galatians 3:29)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God. (Galatians 4:6,7)
I am a saint. (Ephesians 1:1; ! Corinthians 1:2; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2)
I am without blame before Him. (Ephesians 1:4)
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God’s family. (Ephesians 2:19)
I am righteous and holy. (Ephesians 2:24)
I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now. (Philippians 3:20 Ephesians 2:6)
I am capable. (Philippians 4:13)
I have been rescued from the domain of Satan’s rule and transferred to the kingdom of Christ. (Colossians 1:13)
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. The debt against me has been cancelled. (Colossians 1:14)


These are all statements of who I am. Not the words spoken of Satan. 

Verses:

Hebrews 10:35-36
"Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised."

Joshua 1:9
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Psalm 27:3
Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident

Mommy Always Answers...

And He said "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven." Matthew 18:3

We’ve all seen the scripture.

We’ve all heard the examples.

-But-

When YOU hear the phrase “Childlike Faith”, what comes to mind?

Automatically a little baby angel pops into my mind. 

Kind of like this….Comical right?

I am just not sure that’s what Jesus meant when He told us to come to him with that sort of faith.

You know I love story telling, so here’s a snippet from last weekend.

My aunt had to leave church to run down the street real quick. I called her phone with a question and we discovered she had left it at church as she ran out the door.

Her three year old walks up to me asking to play on mommy’s phone. I handed it to her not thinking. A couple minutes later she comes up to me smiling. I said what are you up to? She was facetiming her mother.

From her mother’s phone…

Facetiming her mother…..

From her mother’s phone…..

Are you following this? 

I started cracking up. 

YOU try explaining to a 3 year old that her mother couldn’t answer because she had her mother’s phone!

Every time I explained it, her response was “But Mommy always answers”

Now to me, this was just a funny scenario, but to her-she was dead serious.

Mommy always answers.

Always answers.

ALWAYS.

That’s when God showed me the beauty behind it.

“Daddy always answers.” 

That’s childlike faith.

The expectation that Daddy will always be there.

So childlike faith isn’t just the idea of being a child entering Heaven on some fluffy cloud.

It’s the fearless, unwavering faith and trust that Daddy always answers…

Accidents DON'T Happen

About a month ago my 9 year old sister exclaims "when I have a baby with my husband or boyfriend..." I quickly stop her. "No boyfriend. You only have babies with Husbands". Her response? My NINE year old sisters response? "Accidents happen".

She doesn't even know the process to get pregnant!!! 

But this corrupted world has taught her "accidents happen".  

Now, I'm not old fashioned or anything, but there's still values I hold in this world. And that's one of them. 

I begin to question where did we go wrong? Was it the tv shows she watched? Songs she listened to? Or could it possibly be the role models and people she looks up to surrounding her? Regardless where this jaded idea of who having a child with came from, we can all admit it's wrong. 

The Bible says "Train up a child in the way [s]he should go; even when [s]he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

It starts when they're young. Little kids watch and hear everything you say. You must walk in a way that Jesus just radiates off of you. 

"To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps." 1 Peter 2:21

If each of us are walking in His steps, than the little kids who watch us should have a great example of how to live. This includes your children, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, church members, or even strangers in the grocery store. A child is always watching you. Listening to your conversations. Watching your reactions to situations. 

This relates to many things. The words that come out of your mouth (cursing, etc). Your reaction to rude people in public. Your physical actions in public. Kids repeat it all. 

So I challenge you today-start being aware. Start walking in the light of Jesus so that all of the kids around us are "trained up in the way [s]he should go". 

Let's admit it, kids are the next generation. The IT generation. If we don't teach them the right way, our future can only get worse. 

Choose Happiness!

I was at a church one time and I had the most clear example presented to me about Satan. 

The pastor called up 2 men and had them stand in a straight line in front of him. With all three men facing forward, the pastor reached around the middle man and smacked the mess out of the man in front. The first man quickly turned around glaring in shock. All he could see was the middle man who looked just as shocked. The first man turned straight again and the pastor once again smacked him. The first man turns around angrily this time. And once again all he sees is the middle man who has his hands up innocently. The pastor than comes out from behind and explains what he was doing. He was being Satan. Whenever a man offends you all you can see is the man. But in reality it's Satan using him. Satan is "reaching around" and smacking you-not the man. Granted the man lets Satan use them but it's ultimately Satan behind it all. 

He's the puppet master. 

Just like this passage in the Bible:

"From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Matthew 16:21-23 NIV)

In this passage you see Peter and Jesus talking. When Peter spoke, Jesus knew exactly who it was and addressed Satan. He had no hard feelings towards Peter because He knew Peter was being used by Satan. 

Keeping all this in mind, learn to forgive and love. Let no man steal your joy. 

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..." (John 10:10 NIV)

Don't let that happen. Recognize the root of the evil and choose to love. 

I saw this picture today and it brought me happiness. 

"I'll create". You get that? You! You create your happiness. You control your happiness. No one else can ruin your day, if you don't allow it. It's a choice you must make daily. 

So the next time someone hurts your feelings. Or yells at you. Or frustrates you to no end. 

Choose happiness. 

Even in the midst of chaos and anger. 

Choose happiness. 

That's all I've got for you. 

Choose happiness. 

Why don't we fix the one we have?

Last weekend I was hit with a realization. I'm just like the world. Ouch, right?

Let me back up. When I was swimming last weekend on the 4th of July, I watched someone try and repair a float. After thinking he conquered it, he realized the hole was still there. So he thought about the next thing to try to make sure that float was like new. In my head I couldn't understand why not just buy another. I'm sure it's cheaper than the material needed to repair it. Then I was hit in the face and instantly thought of this quote:

Wow. Right to the heart. At what point had I became of the world? Had worldly thoughts? 

My life verse has always been Romans 12:2. In summary it basically says don't be of the world. Have a different way of thinking that pleases God. So what went wrong?

This is a message to the "young generation". 

You can't just throw it all away. 

As I thought more and more on this topic a passage in the Bible came to mind. Noah and the flood. Remember that story? Mankind turned their back on God and He got angry. We were broken and useless. God sent a flood and wiped the Earth clean. 

After the flood had dried, God made a promise to Noah. “Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done. As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” (Genesis 8:21-22 NIV) 

Even though God wiped the evil away, He saw fault. He promised to never wipe away humankind again. 

In Genesis 9 God is very clear. 

"I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth. And God said, This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” (Genesis 9:11-16 NIV)

You see God made us a promise. Just because we are broken people doesn't mean he'll just "throw us away". He gave us the rainbow to represent and remind us of that. God also gave us Jesus to wipe away our sins and to, in a sense, "fix us". God saw worth in us. Just as that man saw worth in the float last weekend. 

Open your eyes young people. Start taking time to work on things instead of just trashing it. 

My Near Death Experience...

My near death experience still haunts me everyday. Imagine having to live your worst experience over and over.

I know you're dying to know what it is, aren't you?

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I almost got burned. And not the 3rd degree kind either. Worse. The Eternal kind. The burn in Hell kind.

You see-I had just turned 14 and my family started attending a new church. I had my whole life figured out. I lived inside my own head. I had described my head as having this big wall surrounding it. I knew it all, so I wasn't ready for anything to change that. Then I saw the Light. I had spent 14 years of my life standing in flames waiting to be engulfed. I accepted Jesus into my heart and was forever saved. 

Yet this experience still haunts me everyday.

Imagine your near death experience included a gun being held to your head. Then everyday you had to see that same thing being done to other people. It just never went away. 

It's the same with my experience. Everyday I witness unbelievers walking around more and more singed. Time is running out.

So here's my lending hand. Let me tell you a story to help you out of that fire....

God created Earth and He created YOU! (How? I am not exactly sure, but I can't wait to ask!) After us humans ruined ourselves (go figure), God realized we needed more. We needed Grace. So He gave us a gift. A beautiful, little tan gift. A baby. His own Son. God gave us Jesus. Jesus grew up just as you and I. An average man exposed to all the corrupt and sin. When Jesus became an adult, He began ministering. He showed love, grace, and forgiveness. He called people out on their sins and loved them through it. Jesus never accepted the sin, but He loved the the sinner. Jesus knew His fate before He came to Earth. He knew he must pay for our actions one day.

Imagine this:

You and your best friend go out to eat. You both order getting everything your heart desires and don't look at a price.  Now it's time to pay. Your friend looks at their ticket and quickly panics. They didn't bring enough. Now they must face the consequences of their actions. Legally restaurants can call the cops for not being able to pay. So of course to avoid all that nonsense you take out extra money and say "I got this". You didn't want to see your friend punished because you care for them too much. 

-So back to Jesus because I mean come on, He is my favorite-

Jesus knew we must pay for our actions. But like you and your friend-He cared and loved us too much to watch us get punished. So he said "I got this". Jesus was beaten and nailed to a piece of wood just for you. He died along with all your sins past, present, and future. Does that mean you will never sin again? No, but it means you're forgiven. It means you are loved enough that Jesus took all that garbage with Him, when He was crucified. After buried, Jesus rose again 3 days later. Like from the DEAD! (Yeah, that really happened!) Jesus came back with one message. Go and make disciples. Then later He ascended back into Heaven. You see-Jesus, who is completely flawless, took all of your sins, so that you wouldn't be burned. And He's coming back again for me and I pray for you too. You see, Jesus died for me and for you. The nonbelievers and the believers. But to be saved from that fire you must do one thing. Reach Out. You have to accept Jesus Christ into your life. You have to recognize the fact that He took all you blemishes and made you flawless! (A teenager's dream!!)

This has been one of my favorite songs lately.
Really take this in:

"No matter the bumps

No matter the bruises

No matter the scars

Still the truth is

The cross has made 

The cross has made you

~Flawless~"

Flawless by MercyMe.

---

Jesus Loves You.
Jesus Died for You.
Now Live for Him.

Overcome this Death Experience. Let it become a Near Death Experience. 

Your story doesn't stop here!!

When God Throws You a Curveball...

If you know me, you know I have to always have things figured out. I don't like the unknown. Never have. When I was little, I always needed to know where we were going, what our weekend would look like...by like Tuesday lol, and just needed everything planned. I hated the unsure. I couldn't stand impulsive and rash decisions. If it wasn't premeditated, I wanted no part in it. Yes, I was that kid.


Now here I am, 18 years of age, and graduating this Friday. As of last Friday, I had it all figured out. My plan was to go to Clayton State University (I was even accepted!) for around a year to major in Film. Then after a year, I wanted to transfer to The Art Institute of Atlanta to one day become a Film Editor. I even spent my last year of high school doing dual enrolled college classes. I had it planned. I had the ends and out all worked out. I had no stone unturned.

I did it all.

---

But God had a different plan.

Doesn't He always? It's like this: Picture a toddler just learning to walk. The child sees their favorite toy and takes off after it. The parents sees all the dangerous objects in between the child and the toy. The parent then takes the child by the hand and redirects them. The child is torn and upset. All they wanted was their toy. That's all they could see from their angle. The parent wanted what was best for their child and could see the dangers.
God is the same way. He sees all the dangerous things that we just can't see. A lot of times He has to take our hand and redirect us. Most times we don't like it. It makes us uncomfortable. It's not planned or organized. A lot of times we don't understand God's way of thinking. All the same thoughts the child has. But we can look at it and see it was for the better. God is thinking the same thing.
"Child,  I got you. You are mine."

---

God has been tugging my heart in a different direction the last few weeks. He showed me that what others think don't matter. That's hard for me. I have always had all these expectations put on me from different family members causing me to always put others opinions before my own. God was trying to show me it was okay. I was okay.
But of course I went along my own way and ignored Him. I kept my well planned out future and went about my life. And again God came to me. He said there's something you're trying to do that you shouldn't be. At that point I was confused but also a tad guilty. I knew what God was getting at. But I didn't want to let that go. I needed my plans. I need my calendar. I needed something in my life that is stable.
You see not only am I quickly graduating, but there are sooo many more changes in my life from the last year. I started college and finished my last year of high school. I have started and led a missions team to Nicaragua. We leave in 2 weeks. I started dating an amazing man. I became an active member of the church my dad helped open. I led clubs at my school. I was always going and doing. Knowing my next step helped me stay grounded. I had a stable plan. I didn't have to look far into my future because it was already all worked out for me.
Everything God has been nudging did not line up with my plans. It's not what I wanted. I LOVE film editing. I love creating movies. I love the editing, the filming, that joy it comes with creating something completely of my own. I love it. But God says "Child,  I got you. You are mine." 

So I am not going to college. Yep, you read that right. Me. The one who always has it all figured out. I am not going to college. I don't know if I ever will. I hope too, but not this season in my life.

God has a way that completely baffles me but I completely trust Him. Completely. So although He hasn't shown me my next step, I know where my trust lies. As shown in Romans..."And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I know that God has what's best for me in mind. 

How can I worry?


So here I am, 4 days before I graduate and I have no earthly idea what my plan is. I know I am trusting in Him. It would be easy to continue in my thought-thru plans but it's not what He has for me. I am asking that all of you that read this take a minute to pray for me. Pray that I continue to listen to His voice. It's not the easiest, but it's where I want to be. 


I am relieved. I am happy. I am home. 

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"Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone."

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Look for my next post, "Earthly vs. Spiritual....is there a difference?", to see where my heart lies. It has to do with this post and you know, my heart and passions.

Thanks for reading,
Savannah