God calls people to some amazing things.
He calls people to preach to a crowd of hundreds.
He calls people to start ministries feeding the hungry in their community.
He calls people to lead the young people in small groups.
He calls people to travel across the world for 7 days even though they've never spent the night off anywhere……huh? Oh wait, that’s me!
5 years ago God called me to be a Missionary.
Now that title is pretty scary. Especially when you’re not saved, just started this church thing, about to start high school, and you have some pretty strict parents. The odds were against me in every way. So I decided to play hide and seek with God. Remind you of anyone? (Hint: Adam and Eve-Genesis 3:8). Two years later God spoke to me and I was on a flight to Nicaragua 6 months later.
I say it’s funny the way God works but really it’s just Him. It’s his ways. So now 2 years later, I am embarking on my second journey on a mission trip going to the same place as last time-Nicaragua. I am going with my church, one my dad started 6 months ago. Since it’s a new church there was no foreign missions team. I prayed about it and I knew God was calling me back. I started praying and things started lining up perfectly. God’s hands were all over it. I began to get together and lead a team of 20 people interested in attending.
As the months quickly passed, I began to worry and panic more and more. Each person needed over $1,600 and fundraisers just weren't cutting it!! I began to let my worry and doubt consume me. I began to think of the money and try to work out every detail to get the exact amount. I felt everything I tried was just squished down. My whole life began to become stressful and God got further and further. The last few weeks have been an eye opener for me. I have realized the hole I've dug myself into and I was ready for His hand to pull me up!
Positive thinking. That’s the key to everything. Even if you don’t feel positive, you must act it. You fake it till you make it, lol. I decided I will no longer go around stressing and doubting. God promises us: "But my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus". That's Philippians 4:19. Shall supply. Not maybe. Not if you stress enough. Not if you send out just one more message to the team. He shall. It’s that simple. While I am over in my own world breaking down, Jesus is in front of me waving his hands around pointing to himself. He’s saying “I am right here. Hello? Don’t you see me? I want to take this burden from you. Let me help you” and the whole time I am looking down when the whole time Jesus never left.
I read in a very beautifully written post the other day
“The problem is you need to stop getting so close to the problem…does this make sense? Think of it like a canvas. If you stand too close to it all you will see is black. You see the darkness and it begins to overwhelm you because that's all there is. But when you take a step back and view the bigger picture on the canvas… you realize it was just the inner coloring of a flower being painted on the beautiful picture that is your life.
Now… I'm going to speak this next part into my heart and I want you to do the same.
Back away from the canvas and see that the problems are not problems and the pain is creating something beautiful that is needed to complete the entire picture.
Finally, keep going. Don't stop here because He has brought you too far and I bet if you look back you will notice that He has never left you.
Consider it joy when you face trials, and let them give you perseverance to keep going.
You've got this, and He's got you.” -Anissa Lotti in "When 'impossible' makes more sense"
She put it so perfect there was no other way to word that. It’s time for us, for me, to step back and see the whole picture.
Now GET THIS!
As the way my thinking began to change, I began to see God everywhere. Yes-He’s been there all along but I began to look up. Personally for my trip I had to have $96 by March 1st. I started stressing really bad. I had no clue how I would make that. I scheduled a group fundraiser for the day before the money was due. I knew I would only make a portion and I let my worry take over. Then I remembered Jesus waving. He’s got this. I prayed. And prayed. I prayed a lot. I prayed for my heart to trust God. I prayed my heart to be in the right place. I prayed questioning if this was even my calling still. Friday night, the night before the fundraiser, someone gave me $50 towards my trip. I was so overwhelmed. It was unexpected and God showed through! That meant I needed to raise $46 at fundraiser and that’s very possible. At the fundraiser we sold out very quickly, thank God cause it was cold. Haha. Once all the money was counted up and divided among the volunteers there, we each rasied….$46 and some change. FORTY-SIX DOLLARS! Do you get that? “But my God shall supply all your needs…” Oh he supplied all right. It’s all in God’s timing. When I saw that, I wanted to cry out! God is so merciful. Even after all my doubt and negativity He showed Himself!!
But it gets better…..
I discovered a member of our team who did not make it to the fundraiser due to building a ramp for a member of the church who recently had to get a wheelchair because of health issues. It was decided we were going to count him at the fundraiser and give him an even portion as everyone else. The way the math worked out, I personally would need $5 to meet my $96 goal. I could do that easily. I was still thanking God for his wondrous ways. Well as I am about to leave this member of the church's house, they gave my sister and I $10 to split between our trip....that's $5 for me. It's not because I didn't have it, but that God still wanted to show me He's got me. Something as simple as $5 made me want to cry.
So as I go along the next 3 months before I leave for my trip, I am deciding to trust God. I know He will supply.
Okay, God. I trust you.
Thanks for reading!
~Savannah :)
