Relationship Series: Day 3

Today's post is some questions submitted by anonymous readers. We try our best to answer these from a biblical standpoint. If these bring up more questions-or you'd like to discuss it-private message us. I hope you enjoy and take to heart these answers. (Some of these questions were asked more than once so it's not just you wondering!)

Q. As a Christian, how far is too far?

A. Now this is a common question among teens that are religious or not. Let's get this straight. Any sex before marriage is not okay! "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (Hebrews 13:4)" You get that? ANY type. Even if you have to stop for three seconds and think to yourself is this considered sex avoid it! That simple. 

But that answer doesn't settle well with most teens so let's dig a little deeper. When "in the moment", at any time if you feel uncomfortable-STOP-and move. Something isn't right. Get up and away to think about what is going on. Is a hug too far? No. Is that where you must stop? Not necessarily but I would stay away from anything that would create lustful thoughts or actions such as "making out", sitting in each other's laps, laying down together (especially sharing a blanket), and more. If you're in an intimate position, more than likely things won't go well. Just don't put yourself into a position to wonder how far is too far. Treat yourself with respect and honor and do the same for your mate.

Q. Would stepping into a relationship become a distraction when pursuing Jesus?

A. I think this depends on the guy/girl your dating or talking too and his/her beliefs! First and foremost do they believe in God? Are they saved is the first question you need to know because if they're not saved than there's no way that you would be able to have God in your relationship at all nor do you need a relationship with this person. Especially if your wanting a good Christian guy/girl to connect with about God! Secondly, if they are saved you need to know where you two would stand spiritually and discuss each other's morals. Just because they are a Christian DOES NOT mean you would be compatible spiritually or morally (even Christians make mistakes Don't forget)! Lastly, if you are trying to keep your relationship with God and find dating a distraction that comes between you and God. If you find that everyone you date is bad for you, than it might be better to just stay single. That doesn't mean you shut down every door either if you think that a person is right you should defiantly give that person a chance. Also remember your morals and values and what your looking for! Single should be a time you use to connect with yourself and God and understand what you want in a relationship so when the right person comes along you will know! And being single means you can PRAY for the right person to come along! Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. "Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn’t pleased at being ignored." (Romans 8:5-8 MSG)

Q. How does God help you maintain a healthy relationship?

A. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV)" So now that we have got that part covered, let me tell you something. If this is a relationship that glorifies God, He will make sure it is a healthy one. See question below on whether or not your relationship is Godly. Just seek God out through your relationship and keep Him centered at all times and it'll be healthy. 

Q. How do you put out a good impression, so you can be friends with a person that is not Christian?

A. You should always live like Jesus would want you too! Show your friend there is a God through love and understanding! And never judge them for not being a Christian even if they may judge you because if they judge you it's because they don't understand and you have to be the one to help them understand simply by living a Christian lifestyle!  If we truly love others and live as Christ did in this world, we won't be worried about the day of judgment. A real love for others will chase those worries away. The thought of being punished is what makes us afraid. It shows that we have not really learnt to love. We love because God loved us first. But if we say we love God and don't love each other, we are liars. We cannot see God. So how can we love God, if we don't love the people we can see? The commandment that God has given us is: “Love God and love each other!” (1 John 4:17-21 CEVUK00)

Q How do you tell if this relationship is of God?

A. First once again let's take a look at both of your beliefs. God commands us "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? (II Corinthians 6:14 NKJV)" This says you must be equally yoked. That doesn't mean the other person says sure I believe in God and you hope like crazy they'll convert after you two are together. It doesn't work that way. You must be equal before any commitment is made. With this being said you both need to have equal goals. Such as are you both interested in ever being married, are children okay with that person? Just keep these things in mind. Honesty is important. Without this simple thing no relationship can stand. Honesty is the key. You need to enjoy yourselves. Find joy in doing things together, for example going to church, walking in the park, simple things you enjoy just in the presence of each other. Lastly God will give you this out of the world, supernatural, crazy love for each other. "And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:8 NKJV)" See this? You must love each other unconditionally. Just as Jesus loved the Church.

Q. How do u ask if they are Christian, without asking them directly? 

A. One way you can ask is simply by asking if they go to church?. Another way you can find out is if you refer back to our Relationship Series Day 1, it's talks about a relationship with God and there was a list and one of the things on there we're to test people and see if they are a Christian. Another way is you could invite them to church. And sometimes their actions you can tell by what they do! Though I'm not saying if they do bad things they're not a  Christian, even Christians make mistakes but bad decisions sometimes can result in not being a Christian!  

God was pleased for all of himself to live in Christ. And through Christ, God has brought all things back to himself again—things on earth and things in heaven. God made peace through the blood of Christ’s death on the cross. At one time you were separated from God. You were his enemies in your minds, and the evil things you did were against God. But now God has made you his friends again. He did this through Christ’s death in the body so that he might bring you into God’s presence as people who are holy, with no wrong, and with nothing of which God can judge you guilty. (Colossians 1:19-22 NCV)

Q. Do you always have faith when problems occur?

A. I think this is a great question we should always ask ourselves. Not just in relationship situations but every situation. I don't think this needs an explanation but it was worth adding! (:

I hope you took something of worth from this. Once again hit us up with more questions or comments! We'd love to hear from you!

Love you guys! Savannah & Morgan!!